I Cried

I finally cried a little while ago. I dont know why it took me so long. It didnt feel real maybe, I wanted to fully trust God to deliver everyone I know there, maybe if I cried I wouldnt be believing. I still believe God is bigger than all this. I still believe God can use this for good somehow. I know he is in control.

I cried because I dont know if so many people are alive or dead.
I cried for Diane, Charissa and Lemmie.
I cried for Pastor and Nathan for the torture they are going through not knowing and not being there.
I cried for my favorite NVM worker Ponpdlo and his pregnant wife. Are they alive, do they have a house left.
I cried for Jean who Tom and I sponsor for his medical care.
I cried for Claudine who is the child we love and sponsor, where is she now.
I cried for Judith my favorite teacher at the school.
I cried because it seems so unfair.
I cried because I feel helpless here.
I cried because we are so blessed, my kids are snug in bed sleeping.
I cried because I know even before this happened life was a struggle every day in Haiti now it will be 10 times worse. I didnt think it could be much worse than what they already live with now I know it can be.
I cried for everyone I know that is adopting from Haiti and their children are there. They are very worried about them and the next months.
I cried because the place I love, feel like is a second home and the people are my second family are suffering beyond what I can even imagine, emotionally and physically.
I cried for the exahusted workers doing their best with not enough equipment and help.
I cried because every time I close my eyes I see images of bodies on the sidewalk and rubble.
I cried because I had to get it out.

Now I continue praying.
Steph