Not Good News on Jerica

I received a new update today. It sounds like as soon as she turned a good corner she has turned back the other way. She is now apparently not eating again, not crying and is very cold. They are thinking about just taking her back to Children of the Promise and continuing care there instead of the hospital and hoping for the best. They are wanting info to contact the parents if she passes. It doesnt sound good. I want to say something positive about what her life has been so far but I just dont feel it comming to me. What I really feel is that if I had been there earlier or we had care there weekly she would actually have had a chance.
I have been having some withdrawl as I usually do when I return it has just hit me later than usual this time. I think, what are we doing here in the U.S.? Watching TV, going out to eat, mundane daily life things. Going to work to have just enough money to pay the bills. Homework, videogames, cartoons, and computer fill my kids lives. Is this what God wants us to be doing? I think of so much that we could accomplish in Haiti, lives saved and improved, people being brought to Christ. Children that we could help to not suffer and die and starve to death.
I try to do as much as I can here but it is very limited. Then I think would I really be able to sacrifice my lifestyle and comfort here. Could I sacrifice it for my kids until they are 18. I am selfish and lazy here most of the time. I want so badly to be there helping, doing more. I want to be able to look at God and say I did everything in my power to save them and tell them about you. I love my family here so much. People think when I say I want to be there it is because I dont want to be with them here. It isnt that at all. I guess I just cant explain it.
All I can do is pray.
I hope that Jerica will live but maybe that isnt what God wants. I guess I am just feeling frustrated, helpless and useless here right now.
Steph